Dear Ann
Thank you for printing that letter about the transsexual whose parents could not accept him as "Madeleine." That letter meant a lot to me because I am a transsexual woman, which means I was also once considered a male.
Many people assume it was my "choice" to be this way. They are mistaken. The only choice for me was to live or die. No one chooses to be transsexual. This is just the way we "turned out." I have lost jobs, friends and the respect of many people who were unable to accept the truth about me.
I did not make this decision for sexual reasons. It was an identity issue. I have always felt that my body was out of sync with my brain. I am not a freak. I do not molest children or exhibit deviant behavior. I want nothing more than a loving family of my own and the ability to lead a quiet life, have a decent job and make friends. I am not "proud" of being a transsexual, but I am proud that I have been able to come to terms with who I really am. People should not make our decision their problem.
A New Woman in Ohio
[Ann Landers:] The most important lines in your letter are ones I hope my readers will remember. They are, "No one chooses to be transsexual. It is just the way we 'turned out.' " The same, of course, can be said of homosexuality.
We need a better understanding and more compassionate acceptance when there is deviation from the norm. This world is a big enough place for everybody.
© 2001 The Washington Post Company