How do you Guess if a child or teenager has a Gender Identity Disorder?
Some signs that a young person may show (even if they are not obviously exhibiting cross-gendered behaviour):
- Playing with (e.g.) boys toys but modifying them to soften - e.g. a fort becomes a theatre, or soldiers have skirts added to make them female (for biological males, with similar but reversed for girls)
- If playing with girls toys is discouraged, tendency to draw or doodle feminine things or "pretty ladies" which are identified with (for biological males with similar but reversed for girls)
- Lack of concentration (being "away with the fairies" and constantly appearing to daydream) due to the fact that their problem is always on their mind. We know of several who for a while were thought to be deaf!)
- Poor educational performance, below what one might expect of them.
- Or, conversely, total immersion in schoolwork with little interest in anything else.
- Obsessive with Hobbies/pastimes - when doing things they really enjoy they can sometimes over-immerse themselves in them as displacement activities (saves them from having to think of their problems).
- A reluctance to use the school toilets, perhaps rushing home at lunchtimes.
- A reluctance to do games appropriate to the birth gender, including a reluctance to use the showers/changing rooms/swimming pool. Frequent loss of PE/games kit.
- Unexplained illnesses, such as headaches, joint aches, nausea, dizziness. If the child is kept at home, these may be seen to get better as the day wears on, especially as the end of the school day approaches! These illnesses may be real, even though the cause is psychosomatic.
- Truanting, even when well.
- Depression, sleeping late during the day and unable to get off to sleep at night, constant cravings for Carbohydrate-loaded foods (Starch, Sugar and Cellulose).
- Stress-related illnesses (e.g. irritable bowel syndrome, migraines).
- Self-harm (e.g. arm cutting or scratching), suicide attempts.
- Dependency on drugs/alcohol.
- A tendency to avoid meeting your eyes with theirs.
- Poor self-image.
- Timidity or agression.
- "Off the rails" type behaviour.
- Possibly Dyslexic.
- Often on the receiving end of bullying, sometimes severe.
- Often thought of (mistakenly) as being 'gay' - this in itself can be hurtful as it is inaccurate.
- Few friends, and a lack of a normal social lifestyle for a teenager.
- Spending long periods alone - e.g. in the bedroom, or going for long aimless walks alone.
- Secretiveness - with an inability to open up, especially about personal things, feelings, things to do with sex, extreme shyness about gender or sex.
- More time spent with adult helpers at school (e.g. dinner ladies) than with their peers.
- Indentification with other 'outsider' groups (e.g. children of a different race, those with learning difficulties).
- Appearing more friendly with the 'opposite sex' as their main group (i.e. boys who are more friendly with girls, and vice versa).
Some youngsters with GID show all of the above, some none at all, it varies considerably from person to person. Some are very sensitive - for instance, even a kind teacher thanking them for holding the door open, saying "Oh, you are a good boy" will hurt if the child feels deep down that they are female. The very best way to deal with them is to accept them unconditionally for the person they are, show a genuine interest in them, protect them from nastiness, and offer suitable friendship. Very sadly, some teachers have a nasty habit of using children who don't quite 'fit' quite badly in order to gain the sympathy of the rest of the class, or may use excessive sarcasm and insults to score points off them. Of course, some children may exhibit many of the above signs for other reasons - please, for instance, don't think that just because a child is dyslexic, has few friends and is depressed that they are automatically suffering from GID, but these signs show that a child may be very unhappy, and that something needs to be done about it.
Errors and omissions excepted - There may be other signs that so far we have missed. If you can think of an extra one, please let us know!
(most of he above may be more relevant to children of secondary school age)