If you have gotten past the title it may be due to you're experiencing feelings, emotions, or desires of a sort you find troubling which you have been experiencing since early childhood. In the case of your birth sex being male you may have the desire to don feminine attire. You may have a lively interest in pursuits or pastimes generally associated with women or girls. You may feel far more comfortable in the presence of, or taking part in activities with, women or girls. Or, possibly, all of the above. In the case of your birth sex being female, your desires, interests, and preference of association may be similarly oriented only in the male direction. In either case you may be experiencing what has come to be termed 'Transgenderism'.
Sounds terrible doesn't it? Well it isn't. It may make you different but it does not make you 'terrible', or 'sick', or 'ill', or 'perverted', or 'criminal', or any of the other negative descriptive words or phrases thrown about so freely by the ignorant or intolerant. That's the good news and it makes for an excellent starting point on the road to eventually understanding and accepting yourself for the valuable human being you are.
Now the very first thing you need to understand and take to heart is the fact that you are hardly unique and you most certainly are not alone. There are potentially several millions of people, male and female, young and old alike, who are transgendered to one extent or another, right here in America today. Further that number most likely increases to the tens of millions on a world wide basis. And you know what? The overwhelming majority of them are quite capable, talented, and decent human beings.
What causes this transgendered situation to develop? No one really knows; at least not with any scientific certainty. Of course there are a number of theories. Some say 'nature'. These experts hold the view that what you are dealing with was caused by some sort of chemical or hormonal imbalance you suffered while still in the womb. Others say 'nurture'. Their opinion is that overly protective mothers, the lack of a strong father figure in the home, or a combination of the two are the cause of 'gender identity' problems experienced by the young. But so far as anyone dealing with Transgenderism is concerned such esoteric discussions are of no more practical value than the proverbial argument over how many angels can dance upon the head of a pin.
The primary reason such discussions are essentially worthless is the simple fact that there is no cure. The 'experts' tried for decades to find a cure for Transgenderism. The only result was that many transgendered individuals, many of them young people, suffered the horrors of incarceration in locked mental wards, extremely painful forms of 'aversion therapy', even 'electroshock treatments'. The results were unsatisfactory in that they were, at best, only temporary. Anyone undergoing what amounts to physical torture will say or do anything in order to bring the pain to an end. The victims of this mistreatment never truly ceased to have and hold their gender 'inappropriate' feelings, desires, and longings.
Having failed in their attempt to cure Transgenderism a rapidly growing number of psychological care providers have concluded that the best way to proceed is simply to help the transgendered to come to terms with, accept, and learn to live at peace with themselves. This, of course, is what they should have been doing all along.
Those who are beginning to consciously and seriously consider the transgendered situation they find themselves in are almost inevitably plagued by certain basic questions and, almost always, the question at the top of the list is: Am I Gay?
Well, if you as a genetic man or a genetic woman feel a powerful romantic/sexual attraction to others of the same genetic sex then it is probably safe to say yes. If, however, you are exclusively interested romantically/sexually in the "other" sex than you are probably heterosexual. That is the basic criteria. There are, in fact, at least a few statistical studies which indicate the majority of those dealing with Transgenderism, some 90 percent, are heterosexual.
On the other hand it is entirely understandable for those just beginning to cope with their transgendered state to ask that question. A comparatively small percentage of the Gay community does cross dress for various reasons; though these reasons seldom have much to do with the actual emulation of women. However, since the great majority of society has come to perceive cross dressing to be a gay 'behavior' the transgendered cross dresser has also come to be considered to be gay.
While a certain percentage of gays and bisexuals as well as heterosexuals may be transgendered Transgenderism is actually a separate issue. But, interestingly, this misperception on the part of the greater society, that homosexuality and Transgenderism are one and the same thing, has actually begun to have an unexpected but powerfully positive result.
There is an ancient principle which holds, 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'. Historically the ignorant and intolerant within the greater society have heaped humiliation, discrimination, and degradation upon the gay, bisexual, and intersexed communities and the heterosexual transgendered as well. The result has been the deliberate and systematic deprivation of the basic human and civil rights of all.
Since societal intolerance has so adversely effected the gay, bisexual, intersexed, and heterosexual transgendered communities, in precisely the same way, these somewhat disparate communities are uniting to make common cause against those 'laws', groups, and individuals who have, for so long, subjected them to both legal and extralegal persecution. In fact the combined efforts of these communities have recently begun to have real effects. It may be a slow process but laws adverse to gays, bisexuals, the intersexed and transgendered are being changed or repealed. This is certainly very heartening indeed.
If Transgenderism is what I am dealing with does that mean I am a transsexual?
Possibly but not necessarily. The answer to that question depends entirely on just how pervasive and intense your masculine to feminine or feminine to masculine leanings, feelings, desires and longings really are. The words 'sex' and 'gender' have been consistently but quite mistakenly used interchangeably. In fact the word, 'sex', applies to only two things: The reproductive equipment one is born with and the sexual 'act'. Everything else is part and parcel of the social construct we call 'gender'. The way we are treated and spoken to, even as infants, the clothing we're assigned due to which sex the doctor says we are at birth, the inflection and meaning of words, the appropriateness of interests, toys, hobbies and behaviors are all part of what constitutes gender.
'Gender identity', on the other hand, is a very different concept. According to many in the medical and psychological fields gender identity is established in the womb. Occasionally an infant's birth sex and integral gender identity may not line up perfectly. In fact an individual's birth sex and gender identity can be fairly widely separated. When this occurs Transgenderism or a transsexual condition is often the result. The simple graph, below, may prove helpful to those trying to determine where they stand on the 'Gender Continuum'.
As you can see the transsexual condition is the most intense form of Transgenderism. The Transsexual is of the unshakable belief that the only way her or his life can be complete and fully rewarding is if it can be lived entirely as a member of the other sex. To this end the transsexual is prepared to commit him or herself wholeheartedly to an entire series of medical procedures which are extremely expensive, very painful, and may take years to complete. However the successful completion of these procedures is its own ultimate reward.
The greater percentage of the transgendered community is usually able to find their individual comfort levels and sense of inner peace without sex reassignment surgery or SRS. Some get along quite well with only very occasional, partial, cross dressing. Others find they need to cross dress more fully and for longer periods of time. And there are some who must take hormones and dress and live as the other sex on a continuous or nearly continuous basis; stopping just short of SRS. The range of options is very wide indeed and what is best for the individual can only be determined, ultimately, by the transgendered person him or herself.
The road you may need to begin walking can be both long and lonely. That's the bad news. The good news is you do not necessarily have to make this journey alone or unaided. There are trained professionals who really are experienced in assisting people in learning to live and cope with this situation. You are not alone. There are others who are facing the same journey. An active support group can transform what presently may seem to be a nightmarish ordeal into something more akin to the beginning of an adventure in self discovery. This journey may still be difficult but, at the same time, it can also become personally rewarding.
© 2000 P. Gender. Reprinted with permission
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